I Miss My Friend
by DoctheWriter
Summary: Just when things begin to go right, a terrible trajedy befalls the Scoobs


Title: I Miss My Friend  
Author: Doc BAforever@eternal.ws  
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me...DER! haha...and uh, the song, even tho its not used, belongs to Daryl Worley and whoever else was involved w/ its production  
Spoilers: Uhh...kinda if you haven't seen S6/S3  
Timeline: S6/S3...but after the SF's of both, like a month later and continues on from there  
AN: I got this idea when I heard the reasoning behind the song I Miss My Friend by Daryl Worley (sp)...but I won't share that with you because if I do, then you'll know what the story is about.  
AN2: The long quotes that are in-between the ** are something that I thought of when I was halfway through writing this. I thought it was a good idea, so I ran with it. It's kind of one of those reflection type things...Newhoo, well, I hope this turned out the way I wanted it and that you guys like it....  
Feedback: I would be insulted and never write again....SERIOUSLY....no FOR REAL! 

***WARNING*** : ANGSTY FIC AHEAD.... 

The Beginning, Again…. 

He stared at the phone as it rang for the fourth time. She had been calling and leaving messages with Fred for the past few days, but he just couldn't bring himself to call her back. The simple sound of her voice or the mention of her name brought back a thousand and one painful memories. She was a part of his past, a big part, but she was still in his past. His future, he thought, was going to be with Cordelia, but seeing as how, at the moment, they had no earthly idea where she was, things looked questionable. Which brought to mind yet another reason why he could not answer the ringing phone before him. It rang one final time and then the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel went silent.

"You know you're going to have to talk to her one of these days."

Angel jumped at the sound of Fred's familiar voice behind him. He turned to see her standing a top the stairs.

"Yea yea. Everyone keeps saying that. But, did you guys ever think that talking to her after everything that's happened isn't going to be the easiest thing? I mean, I have a kid now and I think I might have feelings for Cordy…its just all to much to tell her in one conversation."

Fred nodded and then a look of realization crossed her features and she smiled brightly.

"So, you have several conversations, not just one. From what I've heard about Buffy, she seems like a reasonable person."

Angel chuckled a little.

"Yea, a reasonable person who can kick my ass if she so chooses."

"Well, it's your ass, but I still say you call her back."

Fred patted him on the head like a little puppy and walked out of the room. Angel went back to staring at the phone, brooding. He sat there, thinking about all the good times that him and Buffy had had together. Back when things were just "a girl and her cradle robbing creature of the night boyfriend." Back before things got complicated and the curse became a constant problem. Back before the Riley's and Cordelia's and everyone else who had interfered with their relationship. The phone started to ring, again and he jumped.

"Well, I guess it's now or never. Here goes nothing."

He reached for the receiver and brought it to his ear.

"Hello, Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless."

His body tensed and if his heart would have been beating he could have sworn it would have skipped a beat.

"Angel? Hey, its Gunn."

He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"Are you breathing again? Man, that freaks me out."

"Gunn, is there a reason you called?"

"Uh, yea. I was just looking for Fred. Do you know where she is?"

"She was just down here talking to me. Hang on."

"FRED! Gunn's on the phone."

"Goodness Angel, do you have to yell so loud?"

"Oh, sorry."

"I'll get it up here. Thanks."

Angel put the phone down and went back to brooding. After 10 minutes of sitting and staring at the phone, he decided he better go out and do something constructive. He figured another night of Connor hunting looked better than sitting in the lobby of the hotel staring at a telephone. He grabbed his coat and headed out into the night. After the whole Connor locking him in a box fiasco, somehow Gunn and Fred had found him…though he had yet to find out how…and he had been looking for his son, whom had disappeared along with Justine, at least that was the theory that had developed. It had been an entire month, and he wasn't sure he was ever going to find Connor. Hell, for all he knew Justine had killed him the moment they had thrown him in the ocean.

He walked along the dark sidewalks of LA thinking about Connor and Buffy and how everything in his life was all jumbled. He realized he was brooding again and decided to go find something to kill. Just as he started the hunt his cell phone rang.

"And again I say, a warlock invented these things. Hello?"

"Angel."

He was paralyzed with the simple sound of his name being spoken by her. How could he have been so stupid as to answer his phone when he knew that it could be * her * calling.

_Fred is so dead._

He knew she had given his cell number to * her *.

"Buffy. How are you?"

"Well, feeling a little ignored. You know I've been calling your place for the past few days. What's so important that you don't have time to talk to an old girlfriend?"

He forced a laugh and tried to come up with a good excuse.

"Well….uhh….you see we've had this…."

He couldn't tell her about Connor's disappearance because she didn't even know that Connor existed.

"We have been working on this…Buffy….to uh…to tell you the truth, there hasn't been anything important going on, well at least more important than talking to you. Its just that I've been going through some things lately and I've been thinking about you, us, a lot lately and I just thought that talking to you would make things harder, that's all."

He was greeted with silence on the other end of the line and he was for sure she had heard his sappy story and decided to hang up on him and his pathetic self.

"Buffy?"

"Oh, yea, um I'm sorry. It's just you kinda shocked me, that's all. Wow. I had no idea. But hey, the reason I called was because I've been thinking about you too, a lot, lately."

He sighed loudly and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"Well, you know, a lot has been going on. I think maybe we should talk huh?"

"Yea. I'm going to be in LA this next week. Me and Dawn are coming to see Dad for Father's Day and so, you maybe wanna get some coffee or something?"

His stomach tied in knots when he heard the word "coffee." The dreaded "non-date" drink.

"Uh, sure. Coffee, or something."

"Plus, I know Dawn would love to see you."

"Well, I'd love to see her too."

"I'll call when I get a chance. I'll talk to you later Angel, and hey, quit brooding so much."

"Fred is so dead."

She laughed and he thought his entire being would shatter. Her laugh sounded like a thousand angels all singing at once. It was absolutely beautiful.

"Well, bye Angel."

"Bye Buffy."

Angel stared at his cell phone, unable to believe that he had just made plans with the one person he had been avoiding speaking to in fear of being reminded of all the painful memories that came along with her and her beautiful laugh, and hazel eyes and…

_Oh god, someone stop me NOW! _

He let a sigh and continued on down the sidewalk. He decided to call it a night and began to start back towards the Hotel.

**********************************************************************

"I knew right from the moment that Angel got up and ran inside the hotel when he heard she was back, alive, I knew that they were meant for each other. I mean, that's not to say I was happy about it, seeing as how I liked him and all, but I know that they were suppose to be together. I still don't know why everything that has happened, happened. I mean, they did so much for the world, you would have thought that they'd get a little happiness. I guess fate is funny that way."

***********************************************************************

The Dreaded Day…… 

"Angel. Angel, could you please quit pacing? You're making me nervous."

Angel stopped mid-pace and shot Gunn a 'got to hell' look.

"Hey man, I haven't seen you this worked up since the whole Connor thing. Its just coffee."

"Just coffee? Just coffee? Gunn, it was just a meaningless night when I wanted to feel something, and then I got a son. It's never 'just' anything. Everything has a purpose and I have a feeling that this coffee "date" is going to turn into something I don't want it to."

"Angel come on. You two haven't had anything going for like three years now. I mean, she's had boyfriends, you've had, well, your sire. Things have changed, both of you have changed."

"Yeah, but the fact still remains that just her being around, it throws me. I can't explain it."

Angel looked at his watch. 6:15.

_Only thirty more minutes. Why did I agree to this again?_

"Well, just don't go getting all happy and stuff. I really don't want to meet your counterpart."

The doors of the Hyperion Hotel opened and Angel knew exactly who it was.

_Maybe if I just don't turn around this day will just end and I won't have to see her. _

"Well, hello. I'm guessing you're Buffy. You're quite a conversation topic around here these days. It's nice to finally meet the girl behind the name."

"It's nice to meet you…"

"Gunn."

"Gunn. I like it. Yes, I'm Buffy and it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten."

"Uh, Angel, you have a guest."

He took a deep, unneeded breath and turned around. He almost gasped at the sight of her. Her long locks were gone, and her hair was now short, but gorgeous in big ringlets. Her hazel eyes sparkled and he could barely smell the faint scent of vanilla and berries. He smiled his crooked smile at her.

"Hi Buffy."

"Hey. So, uhh, coffee, us. A little too familiar huh? Sorry I'm early."

She laughed softly and decided she better change the subject before things got weird.

_Oh who am I kidding, things got weird when I walked through the door. _

"Well uh, we better get going. I told my dad I'd be back to pick up Dawnie around ten."

"Right. Gunn, if you need me, I have my cell."

"Right-o."

He saluted and smiled.

"Bye Buffy. Nice meeting you."

She smiled and waved.

"You too."

**********************************************************************

"I never really knew her that well. I always heard Cordelia or Wes mention her every once in a while. Fred and me, we was never really privileged enough to hear about their days in Sunnydale. I guess us not being from there and not going through all the crap that they went through, didn't make us part of the "group". Don't get me wrong, its not like I'm upset that I had never met Buffy before that day, I'm just sayin, I didn't really know her that well. But, even if I had never met either one of them, you could tell that they really cared for each other, no matter if both of them were too stubborn to admit to it. Personally, I think that if all this stuff hadn't of happened, things would have turned out great. That prophecy about Angel's sha-whatever, that could have worked out real nice for them. I liked her. I spent a lot of time around her before…she was always nice to me. I still can't believe everything that has gone on. It's crazy."

************************************************************************

Coffee, or Something Like It……… 

After Angel had finally found the diner that he had known "exactly where it is" they sat down and ordered, well, not so much coffee as a chocolate milk shake and a cup of tea.

"I swear you were around Giles too long. I don't see how anyone drinks that stuff."

"Just because Giles makes the best chocolate milkshakes in town, don't blame me."

She smiled. He figured that this little meeting was going well, and hey, it would be over soon and they would go their separate ways and not see each other for another three years until she spontaneously showed up in LA again and wanted to have some coffee…again.

"So, how's life back on the Hellmouth?"

"Normal…or what tried to pass for normal on a Hellmouth. Things have been hectic. Tara was killed a month ago."

"Oh, I didn't hear about that. I'm very sorry. I know that she was close to you and Dawn. How did Will take it?"

"Oh, she just went all psychotic with the wicca and tried to kill us all, but other than that, she's stared the road to recovery."

"That bad huh. I know how hard it is to loose someone."

"You and me both."

"So, anything else interesting going on?"

"Spike left town. We kind of had a…thing. I was so screwed up when I came back and things were bad. But, I broke things off with him, and he left. I don't really know where he is now."

Angel couldn't speak for a minute. With a blow like that, he didn't know if he could speak for the rest of the evening.

"I know that's a lot to take at one time, but I just had to tell you. I know we're not, well…I just wanted to tell you, so that you would find out from me."

"Right…well, uh, I don't have any right to judge you. I haven't done the smartest things."

"Like? Come on, the sharing is awkward and uncomfortable. Just our style."

She winked at him and he couldn't help but smile.

"When Darla was brought back by that law firm I was telling you about, things got bad. I fired Wes and Cordy and Gunn and I went kinda crazy. When I found out that there was nothing I could do to change the situation I was in, I kind of sleptwithDarla."

"You kind of what?"

"I slept with Darla. It was just one night, and I just wanted to know that…I wanted to feel. It was stupid, and I regretted it. But, she's dead now."

"Again? Wow, she sure doesn't stay around long."

She sighed.

"Well, we both did stupid things, but hey, we're allowed mistakes right?"

"Sure. But, there is kinda more to that little story."

"More? What, she had your vampire baby? That's a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen."

Angel found his cup of tea very interesting and didn't speak for several minutes.

"She really did have your vampire baby?"

"Well, not really my vampire baby, as much as my human baby."

"Huh."

Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Angel had a kid, and not just a kid, a human kid. But the thing that hurt the most was that it wasn't her child.

"That's uh, well…I don't know what to say Angel. How old is he now?"

"Well, things got complicated. Technically, he's not even a year old yet, but he's 16 years old. He was taken from me, by Holtz. Do you remember me telling you about Holtz?"

"Um, some guy that was out to get you or something. Only a little."

"Well, he took him into a hell dimension. When he came back, he wasn't my son any more. He was brainwashed to think that I was a terrible monster and some things happened. I don't know where he is now. We've been looking for him for a month now, but we haven't had any luck."

Buffy sat back and took a few bites of her shake. She looked at Angel, her eyes serious.

"Well, maybe before I leave I can help you look some."

He smiled softly at her.

_Always wanting to help others. It's so like her. _

"Maybe. So, how's Xander, Giles?"

"They're good. Giles went back to England, but he came back when Will went all crazy and he's going to stay for a few more months. Xander was going to marry Anya, but he kind of got a major case of cold feet and sort of left her at the alter, and now she's a vengeance demon again and things are hectic. I almost died again."

"What?!"

"Well, when Tara was shot, I was being attacked by this crazy psycho geek guy and he came in my backyard and opened fire on me. I got shot close to my heart and Tara was shot and killed. If it hadn't been for Willow, I would probably be dead. I think that's the only good that came of her magical rampage."

"You know that I could never stand to hear that you weren't here any more…again, right?"

"I know."

She looked down at her lap and back at him.

"You know when I first got back, all I wanted to do was go back to where I was. Things were calm and peaceful and I was safe. But now, with everything that has happened, I realized that I don't want to die. I don't want to leave this earth and never see Dawn grow up and never see my friends make their lives and never see you again."

She stared at him then, waiting for him to speak.

"Buffy, I know that things aren't the way that we'd like them to be. I still care for you so much, and I'm not afraid to say that I do love you. You were my first love and my only love. I have thought that I cared a great deal for another person, and if I had the chance, maybe something would have happened with her, but still, things are no different from when I left three years ago."

"Angel, I've heard this all before, and I certainly did not come to see you so I could get this lecture yet again. I'm just saying, I don't know what I'm saying, but I'm not saying we should get back together and make with the big romantic kissing scene, I'm just saying, I wish we could see each other more than every two years when I happen to be in LA or we have a world in peril situation. I like talking to you, I like knowing you, and I like being around you. I know that things haven't changed, but even if our "situation" hasn't changed, we HAVE changed. We're not the same people we use to be back then."

He nodded and silence grew between them.

"Maybe, maybe we don't have to only see each other every once in a great while. It's just complicated Buffy, and it will always be complicated. You're a slayer, I'm a vampire. We're not meant to associate. It's against the laws of nature."

"Screw the laws of nature. We're here, and we're now. We're not back when the whosits who make things be decided that the Slayer would kill the vampire, not fall in love with him. I know that we both wished it were as simple as me being the Slayer and putting a stake through your heart, but its not. Its difficult, LIFE is difficult. God you know, if I could just get through that stubborn head of yours that I'm not saying that I want a relationship, just a friendship, things would be, well, at least heading in the right direction."

Angel sighed and played with his spoon.

"Buffy, you can't just come and see me and expect us to have coffee or whatever and everything be like it was. Things will never be like they were between us. Being friends is harder than having a relationship with one another again. I know that it seems simpler, but its not. I don't know if I could see you all the time and never want to hold you or touch you."

"Then, fine. We just won't see each other any more. We'll only speak when necessary and even as little as possible then. Is that what you want? Do you want me to drop off the face of the earth?"

"No. God no! Quit making me sound like the bad guy here. I'm just saying, that if we wanted to see each other more and we wanted to have a friendship, it's going to be harder than you think."

"I know."

She looked up at the clock on the diner wall and let out a sigh.

"9:30 already. I guess I better be going. I gotta get back to pick up Dawn."

"Can I walk you? I'd like to see her."

"Sure."

************************************************************************

**Meet the Parents….. **

"Daddy, I'm back."

Buffy walked into the house and threw her coat across a recliner.

"An—oops."

Buffy walked back over to the door where Angel was leaning patiently against the frame.

"Sorry. I always seem to forget."

He just smiled.

"Come on in."

"Sweetheart, are you back already? I've never known you to be punctual. I guess you really have changed. Who's this young man?"

"Oh, Dad, this is Angel. We dated a few years ago. We went out for coffee and he walked me here because he wanted to see Dawn and get a chance to meet you."

"Well, Angel, I hope you're treating me baby girl right."

If Angel could have blushed, he would have. Buffy sighed heavily and seemed very annoyed.

"Daddy, I said _dated, _as in past tense."

"Oh, right. Sorry. So, what brings you to this neck of the woods Angel?"

"I'm a private investigator. I have my own office."

Buffy walked further into the house and left Angel to deal with her father alone.

"DAWN!"

"What? Gosh, you could wake the dead."

"That's so cliché. You have a visitor."

Dawn followed Buffy into the living room. She squealed with delight when she saw Angel standing in the middle of the room talking to her father.

"ANGEL! I can't believe you're here."

He smiled and tried to keep his balance as she tackled him in a hug.

"It's good to see you too Dawn."

"Well Daddy, I guess we'll be going. We'll be over tomorrow. I love you, gnight."

"Bye Buffy, Dawnie. Angel, you keep my girls safe on the way home."

Angel smiled.

"Yes sir."

The three walked down the streets of LA back towards the girl's hotel.

"You know, we do have room for you guys to stay with us. I do have an entire hotel."

"That would be…"

"Thanks, but we've got a room at the Marriot."

"Buffy."

"Dawn, no whining. You know Angel, I can take care of myself. You can go home if you'd like."

"It's ok. So, Dawn, how have you been?"

"Uh, fine. Just fine."

"School going well."

"It is now. I wasn't doing so well after mom and then Buffy, but now that things are getting better, I'm doing well and concentrating more."

"That's good. Education is very important."

"You know you haven't changed at all. I swear you said that same thing to me a long time ago."

"He probably did. He tends to repeat himself."

"Ok, the hostility in this conversation is getting to be too much for the vampire."

"What, can't handle the Summer's girls alone?"

Buffy poked him in the ribs.

"Of course."

"Right."

***********************************************************************

"You know that night when I saw Angel standing in our living room, I was soooo happy!! I hadn't seen him in so long, and the fact that Buffy had brought him to meet Dad, well, I thought maybe they might be getting back together or something. Things were weird for a long time, but finally, something started to happen. I can't believe that things are back to the way they were. Only now, Tara's not here with Will and everything is just all jumbled. Why does everyone always have to leave? I just don't understand the reasoning behind it all. I just wish I could figure it all out ya know?"

************************************************************************

**The 'Dating but Not' Stage……. **

"Buffy, phone."

"I got it."

"Hello?"

"Hey, its me."

"Oh, hey Angel."

"Uh, I'm gonna be near Sunnydale later and I thought I'd call and see if maybe you wanted to go out. Like patrolling or something."

Buffy felt her heart beat speed up and she felt a little dizzy.

_Why do I feel like I'm 16 again? _

"Uh, sure. Why not."

"Ok. I should be there around 7. If not, send out the Scooby patrol."

They both shared a laugh.

"Hey, do I make fun of your little group?"

"No, but then again, we don't have a 'theme' type name."

"Well, it's not my fault. I didn't come up with it."

"Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow Buffy. Goodbye."

"Bye Angel. Oh, and leave the sarcasm at home."

"Right. Bye."

Buffy pushed the 'Talk' button and put the phone back on the receiver.

"So, you and Angel are going out again huh?"

"Not _again_ just, again."

Dawn gave her a look that said "tell the truth", and Buffy just smiled.

"We're friends. Friends patrol. Me and Xander do it all the time. Do you see us making with the smoochies?"

"No, but then again you and Xander don't have the big love behind you like you and Angel do."

She couldn't argue with that, but then again, she wasn't really sure what was going on with them. Since her trip to LA, two months ago, they had been seeing an awful lot of one another. She would make trips to see her father for simple things, just so she could say she was in the neighborhood "stopping by", and he seemed to be conveniently "near Sunnydale" quite often. She figured this was just that limbo that everyone always talked about.

"Well, anyways Little-Miss-Nosey, my love life, or friendships for that matter are none of your business."

"Oh, so you're saying you have a love life now?"

"Hey don't get smart with me."

"Smart? Who's getting smart?"

Buffy laughed.

"Dawn, what am I going to do with you. Go finish getting ready for school."

"I'll be down in ten. I have to go to Science tutoring."

"You know in my day, we skipped class to avert apocalypses and research demons."

"Yeah well, I don't think my science teacher is going to accept the old "I had to save the world" excuse."

"You're right. Now go, hurry."

Buffy picked up the phone and dialed her best friend's number. It ringed a couple of times and then she heard the familiar voice.

"Hello?"

"Hell Will. What's the haps?"

"Oh, hey Buffy. I was just about to go get in the shower. I have class."

"You're starting classes again? Wow, big step."

"Well, I figure I might as well try to move on and make something of my life."

"Good. So, really, how are you?"

"I wanna go hide under the covers and never come out again. Buffy, I didn't know life could be this hard. If this is how you felt when you came back, I am sorry I ever tried that spell."

"True, but then again, I wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation with you and who would else would put up with all your crap."

"I guess only you…and possibly Xander."

Both girls laughed.

"Well, I just wanted to call and see how you were. I'm about to take Dawn to school."

"So, gotten any calls from a certain vamp lately?"

"Yea, I just talked to him like 5 minutes ago. We're going on patrol tonight."

"Oh, patrol huh. You know I remember you telling me about some of your patrols with him. There was a little too much smooching and not enough slaying of evil things going on."

"Yea well, we're not 16 and 240 any more."

Willow laughed.

"That sounds too odd to even think about."

"Well, I gotta go. Dawn's about to have a hissy fit if I don't get off the phone and take her to school. Love you tons and bunches. Call me later and we'll go to lunch."

"Alright. Love you too. Bye."

"Bye Will."

*********************************************************************

"When they first started spending time together again, Xander and I had some worries. We both knew that they knew their limits and they were responsible, but it just seemed like too much too fast. We thought maybe they'd keep in touch a week or two and then things would go back to being how they had been for the past three years, but they didn't. They kept seeing one another, and we were for sure that something was going to happen between them again. I can't say that I wasn't a little hesitant, but I was ok with it. I love Buffy with all my heart and all I wanted was for her to be happy. I still don't understand why she could never just be happy for more than a little while. Every time she was happy, something always came along to ruin it. Everyone deserves a little happiness, don'tcha think?"

**********************************************************************

And Then…… 

Willow dialed Buffy's cell phone number yet again. She had been trying to get a hold of her all day long and she kept getting her voicemail.

"You know you'd think she would have her phone with her or on or whatever if she wants me to call."

Willow dialed information.

"Yes, can I have the number for Angel Investigations in Los Angeles."

"Thank you."

Willow dialed the number and was surprised to hear Wesley's voice on the other end.

"Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless."

"Hey Wes, its Willow."

"Ah Willow, my dear, how are you? I heard what happened with Tara, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. I'm doing ok. Listen, is Angel around?"

"Uh, no I'm sorry. He left a couple of hours ago. Said he had some business."

"Well, thanks."

"Can I give him a message?"

"No, I was just wanting to see if he knew Buffy's whereabouts. I was suppose to have lunch with her but I can't seem to get a hold of her."

"Well, if we hear from her, I will surely contact you. Again, my deepest sympathies. I hope to talk to you again soon."

"Thanks Wesley. Me too. Bye."

"Goodbye."

Willow hung up her phone and dialed the Summer's home.

"Come on. Come on, pick up."

_"Hello, you've reached the Summer's residence. We're not here right now, but if you'll leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as possible…."_

_"Once Buffy gets done saving the world." _

_"Dawn!" _

_"What" _

**beep**

Willow hung up the phone and tried Xander's. After a couple of rings she heard a female voice answer.

"Hello?"

"Anya?"

"Uh, hi Willow."

"What are you doing over at Xander's?"

"Oh, we had sex last night. Actually, we had lots of sex last night. Would you like to speak to him?"

"Uh, sure. Just quit sharing ok?"

She heard Anya call Xander's name and then she heard his familiar voice.

"Will!"

"Hey Xand, have you heard from Buffy?"

"Nuh-uh. Why so?"

"I don't know. I can't get a hold of her and we were suppose to have lunch and I just have a feeling something's wrong."

"You called Angel?"

"Yea, and he's not at the hotel. Wesley said he left. Probably on his way here to see Buffy."

"Well, so maybe he came and they're out. Don't wigg, I'm sure everything's fine."

"Well, I'd still like to find her. Dawn gets out of school soon, and she'll probably be there to pick her up. I might go up to the High School and see if I can catch her."

"Well, if you can't find her, call me again, ok?"

"You got it. Love you. Bye"

"Bye Wills."

*********************************************************************

"That day that Will called me, I didn't think anything of her not being able to get a hold of Buffy. We needed her lots of times and didn't know where she was and she wouldn't be answering her cell. I thought maybe she had just gone shopping and left her phone in the car and lost track of time, or that maybe her and Angel were off making out somewhere. What? You don't think that I know they were gonna get back together? Believe me, I may not be the best in the relationship department, but anyone could see it. I mean, they would have gotten back together if…..Things can change in an instant. I see that now. I always make sure that I never leave anything I want to do undone. Who knows, tomorrow you might be dead."

***********************************************************************

It Wasn't Enough Time…… 

After going to the High School and not finding Buffy and bringing Dawn back to her dorm room, Willow had decided that she better call Xander and start looking for her. Willow picked up the phone and began to dial Xander's number.

"Hello?"

"Xander, I haven't been able to find Buffy and she wasn't at the High School to pick up Dawn."

"Hmm. Well, don't panic. I'll come over and we'll go out and look for her."

"Willow, look."

Willow turned her attention to the television screen and saw a mass of metal jumbled on a street.

"Willow, that looks like our car."

Willow looked hard, but she couldn't really make it out.

"Turn it up."

She listened to the news reporter.

_"Yeah Don, we've had a three car collision just outside of Sunnydale. It seems that there was a drunk driver going the wrong way on the road, and as two drivers swerved to miss him, they collided with one another and then head on with the drunk driver. The only survivor is the intoxicated driver, and I've got to say things don't look good for him. Back to you Don."_

Willow panicked.

"Xander, I think Buffy may have been in an accident."

"I'll be right over."

When Xander arrived at Willow's dorm room, he found two police officers inside explaining the situation. Dawn was in a crumpled heap on the bed, crying uncontrollably and Willow didn't look much better.

"Quit explaining it to me. I heard it on the news."

The officers looked clueless as to what to do with the two women and seemed relieved when Xander entered the room.

"Thank you officers. I think you can go now."

Xander took Willow into his arms.

"Xander….its just….she can't be…I did everything I could to have her back with us. She's just gone….just like Tara…gone! I can't take this any more. All this death. It's too much."

"Shhhhh…I know…I know. Dawnie."

"NO! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. SHE'S NOT GONE. SHE'S NOT! YOU CAN'T SAY SHE'S GONE!"

Dawn jumped up from the bed and flung herself at Xander and Willow. She attempted to run out of the room but Xander caught her and hugged her close to him and Willow.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry. She's gone."

"NO! NO! No…no!"

The three friends cried together for what seemed like eternity. Dawn finally quieted down and fell asleep in Xander's lap and Willow thought she had finally run out of tears to cry until a fresh batch formed on her cheeks. At around 8:30, there was a soft knock on the door. Xander moved a sleeping Dawn next to Willow and got up to answer it and turn away whatever intruder it might be. When he opened the door, he was not prepared for who stood behind it.

"Angel."

"Hey Xander. I went to Buffy's but she wasn't home and the house was dark. I called your place and Anya said that you were here. What's going on?"

Xander walked out into the hallway and closed the door quietly.

"Angel, I don't know how to say this…"

He sighed heavily and he broke down crying himself, for the first time.

"There was an accident this afternoon. A drunk driver. Buffy was killed."

Angel's head was spinning. He didn't believe what he had just heard. His love was not gone from this earth again. Not now. He fell against the wall, unable to keep his balance.

"I don't….Dawn and Willow are falling apart in front of me, and I haven't had the time to cry trying to help them through this. I just can't believe she's gone. I just keep thinking that its all a cruel joke and that she'll come waltzing through the door any minute and say it was all a big mistake and she's not gone forever. Not my Buffy."

Angel watched the boy fall to his knees, sobbing. What he felt inside was so much more than grief. After everything they had gone through, everything that had been done to them. They had finally started to try and build a friendship that might blossom into a future, and now, it was just gone, just like that, in the bat of an eye. He couldn't accept it, he wouldn't. So, he ran. He ran, long into the night. How long, he didn't know. But when he felt the warm sun on his face, all his pain, vanished. 

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"I knew Buffy for about half of her life. In all the time that I knew her, there were very few times when Angel wasn't on her mind. They were two pieces to the same puzzle. The both fought for the same purpose and they both wanted to achieve the same goal….each other. I just hope that wherever they are, they're finally happy. I will always miss Buffy, more than I could ever express, and the day she was taken from us, the world lost two great warriors. One thing I am certain, she was my first and my last Slayer. All my love and devotion and wisdom went into her. I just can't believe they're both gone. It seems such a waste.

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** The End……….**

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